User blog comment:ThunderWaves/It's time for the truth/@comment-27393649-20151028193212/@comment-26927423-20151028212926

I have past things I've done as well. I did some very, very bad things back about two years ago. Now I'm nearly 14 and my life is on the verge of both crumbing and happening, and there is so much in my way. My mom is so, so mad at me rn bc I abuse, daily, her favorite animals. Why? Because I have so much anger and sadness. My brothers are gone, both spiritually and one physically. Then my father is barely a father. I HAVE NO SAME GENDER FIGURE IN MY LIFE. I might have Eric, but he's 30; I can't expect him to come to my needs all the time! Idk what to do...I feel so lonely. If my mom knew about this blog I'd have to say goodbye to my phone, my computer, everything technological. I AM TIRED OF BEING COOPED UP.

And I'm going down a dark path. I need your help. When I swear, please...please stop me, because I'm swearing irl now too...I'm becoming more like my brothers, and I'm scared...i don't want to be them. I don't want to. I want to scream, and my chest is burning to. My heart is close to exploding because of this. I just want to scream, and let everyone know what a CRAPPY LIFE me and my mom have endured, UNTIL I SMASHED THE RELATIONSHIP AND NOW SHE'LL BARELY TALK TO ME BECAUSE OF WHO?? NOT HER: ME. I DIDN'T THROW MY BIBLE ACROSS THE ROOM BECAUSE OF HER OR GOD. I DID IT BECAUSE I AM THE PROBLEM AND I DON'T KNOW HOW GOD COULD HAVE CREATED SUCH A WRETCHED, DISGUSTING THIBG LIKE ME.

I'm sorry I rant so much, but I can't at home. Nothing comes good of it or of me.